Not the End of the World
by A Soul of Shadows
Summary: So, Dave's just sittin' around, being Dave, when he gets reason to be suspicious of Karkat. However, Karkat refuses to tell Dave what's happening on the grounds that it's embarrassing. Naturally, Dave cannot resist the need to draw information out of Karkat anyway. Kankri portion: well, nothing so far. Cursing's a given. Slash-they're budding moirails here.


**The character's Karkat because I've noticed a correlation between my fics that have him and the ones that don't. As in, you guys only read the ones that have him in them. Also, he has the most emotional issues, which is my favorite thing. **

**Dave's a close second with his emotions, so I love writing for him. That's why he's also in this. ****Rose is exactly like me, so she's too predictable for my tastes. If she weren't me, I'd love her character to death.**

**I had to write a fic like this. I adore biology. It is by far my favorite type of science ****right behind astronomy and the science of sound****. As soon as I started entertaining the idea that I could make up some troll biology and portray it as an inconvenience worse than human puberty itself...yeah. It had to be done. Of course, the real focus is emotional baggage, because it can't not be that. I honestly just needed a way to have a troll dream without it being either a full-blown nightmare or a dream bubble.**

* * *

Okay, this is **_really important_** for some: this is not part of my Circle series. It includes headcanon and thus is more speculation than the series allows.

_Dave: Be slightly concerned._

"OH...GOG."

"what's your issue now, karkles? you've been spacey lately and now you randomly act up. what's your deal?" Dave asked in a weary tone. In truth, he was mildly curious. They'd been watching a shitty rom-com for the past twenty minutes. Nothing of interest had been happening on screen, but it was a human movie. Perhaps there'd been some cultural taboo in there that Dave's non-alien mind could not comprehend? Hold up, had there been a bucket anywhere on screen? Dave noted how Karkat had sounded a bit nauseated. After realizing that his grey-carapaced bro hadn't answered and instead was staring off into space with glassy eyes, Dave frowned and tilted his head. "dude, you alright? are you gonna puke or something? look, uh, geez, what do you guys puke into when you're sick and not near a toilet? fuckin' aliens, gog."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DAVE," Karkat interrupted the budding rant.

"then tell me what 'oh gog' means when spoken in a way that hints that your most recent meals are going to take a spontaneous appearance."

"WELL, IT EITHER MEANS THAT YOUR PRESENCE IS SO HORRID AND PUNGENT THAT I ACTUALLY AM ABOUT TO MAKE SOME OF MY INFAMOUS METAPHORS A REALITY, OR A CREEPING SENSE OF DREAD HAS CREPT OVER MY ENTIRE BEING."

Dave gasped, "you didn't utter a single curse word in that sentence. sweetie, i am sooo proud of you. but seriously, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"IT'S, UM, WELL...YOU KNOW, I WONDER IF HUMANS EVEN HAVE A FUCKING EQUIVALENT. ONCE I THINK ABOUT IT, YOU PROBABLY DON'T. THEREFORE, I SHALL REFRAIN FROM GIVING YOU A SCHOOLFEEDING THAT WILL ONLY LEAVE YOU MORE IGNORANT ABOUT MY SHITTY CULTURE THAN BEFOREHAND."

"dude, spill. now."

"NAH."

"karkaaaat."

"FUCKING NO."

A moment of silence followed as Dave leaned closer until his forehead bumped into Karkat's. The troll merely glared into Dave's sunglasses and twisted his mouth into a scowl that looked utterly ridiculous with his jagged teeth poking over his lip. As Dave put all his senses on alert, he noticed that Karkat was trembling...no, more like subtly vibrating.

"dude, what the hell? from my experience with you guys, it's somewhat abnormal for you to be shaking."

"STRIDER. LISTEN TO MY WORDS VERY CAREFULLY."

"well, it's not like i can't hear them, so shoot me."

"GO FUCK YOURSELF AT THE EDGE OF A DREAMBUBBLE, FALL INTO SAID DREAMBUBBLE, AND DO NOT RETURN TO THE SURFACE OF THE METEOR. IN THE BUBBLE, YOU WILL FIND YOUR ETERNAL HELL AT THE HANDS OF MY DANCESTOR, WHO WILL BLABBER AT YOU UNTIL YOUR BRAIN STARTS LEAKING OUT OF YOUR EVERY ORIFICE."

"okay, just saying, that's kind of gross, but throwing your dancestor in is going too far. no one should wish that guy on anybody."

"WELL HE IS A THRICE REMOVED VERSION OF ME, SO YOUR POINT SHALL BE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION."

"will you tell me what's up then?" Dave asked hopefully.

"NO. HELL FUCKING NO."

Dave shrugged and backed off, "m'kay. i'll just go and find tz and ask her what your deal is. pretty sure i've gotten enough info for her to be able to tell what's going on."

"OH GOG NO. DAVE, YOU CAN'T DO THAT."

"why not?"

Karkat pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut,"LOOK, THIS SHIT IS EMBARRASSING ENOUGH WITHOUT YOU GOING OFF AND TELLING HER THAT I'M-UGH, FUCK YOU STRIDER. THIS SHIT'S PERSONAL."

"what shit?"

"WELL, I'M...ER...OKAY, DAVE, YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE," Karkat eventually blurted out. Dave held his right hand over his heart and put his left hand next to his head, palm facing outward. Karkat rolled his eyes. Dave figured that he didn't actually know what the gesture meant, but had gathered the meaning anyway. "SO, HUMANS DO HAVE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEIR WIGGLER AND ADULT VERSIONS. I KNOW THAT MUCH. HOWEVER, SEEING JOHN GROW UP, I ONLY NOTICED THAT HIS SKELETON BECAME MORE PRONOUNCED AND HE STARTED GETTING TALLER AND LESS FUCKING GLOBBY. AND ONLY VERY FUCKING GRADUALLY. SO, IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING, HOW DO HUMANS GO THROUGH STAGES?"

"stages?"

"YEAH. LIKE, TROLLS PUPATE ALMOST IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING HATCHING, THEN GO THROUGH MULTIPLE STAGES AS THEY NEAR ADULTHOOD. AT SOME POINT BETWEEN EIGHT AND TEN SWEEPS, WE PUPATE AGAIN INTO OUR ADULT FORMS. THE HIGHBLOODS ARE RIDICULOUSLY SMALLER THAN THEIR ADULT FORMS, BUT HUMANS SEEM TO STAY THE SAME SIZE AS MOST LOWBLOODS."

"what the fuck are stages?"

Karkat slapped his face with his own hand, "LOOK, JUST EXPLAIN TO ME HOW HUMANS FUCKING GROW SO I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN EVERY FUCKING THING."

"well, we grow from the time we're born until we're into our twenties. or at least guys do. girl's stop at some point in their teen years. like, lalonde probably won't be much taller than she is now. Once we hit puberty, hormones start driving us crazy, we grow hair that's not on our heads, our voices go out of wack, we get all disproportioned as we hit growth spurts-"

"THAT! THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT'S SOMEWHAT SIMILAR. WHAT'S A FUCKING GROWTH SPURT?"

Dave was somewhat taken aback, "oh, well, typically it effects guys more. though girls get them too, they get them earlier and aren't as dramatic. then again, they're not dramatic in general. you get really hungry and grow a few inches rapidly. they're usually accompanied by a few sessions of pain in the growing areas. the pain goes all the way into your bones and it feels like...well shit, it's hard to describe."

"THAT'S FINE. IT'S WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS, BUT IT SOUNDS MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH. GOG."

"what?"

"STILL FUCKING EMBARRASSING. THOUGH I DIDN'T GET THE VIBE THAT IT WAS SO FOR HUMANS, IT'S AN UNCOMFORTABLE TOPIC."

"i will go find terezi then. come to think of it, i'm surprised you haven't absconded the fuck out of here and left me with her as my only option."

"WELL, CONSIDERING MY SITUATION...I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING MOVE RIGHT NOW."

Dave grimaced, "are you in pain or something?"

"NOT REALLY. IT'S JUST THAT I DIDN'T PREPARE MYSELF PROPERLY FOR THIS. I MEAN, I KNEW IT WAS FUCKING COMING. I'VE BEEN STARVING NO MATTER HOW MUCH FOOD I FUCKING EAT."

"so, you're having a troll growth spurt," Dave stated. To his surprise, Karkat whimpered. With a sigh and slumped shoulders, Dave droned, "what do you need?"

* * *

_Karkat: Concede to the fact that you need Dave's help_

"SO, DAVE, NORMALLY THIS JOB FALLS TO A LUSUS, OKAY? SO THIS IS REALLY FUCKING WEIRD."

"a'ight."

"AS I SAID, I DON'T WANT TO MOVE, BUT I KIND OF NEED TO. COULD YOU HELP ME?"

"where do you want me to take you?"

"I NEED SOMEWHERE THAT'S FUCKING PRIVATE, SO I'M HESITANT TO SAY MY RESPITEBLOCK."

"that's fine," Dave shrugged, "we can chill in my room." At that, Karkat decided that the floor had a very interesting pattern embedded into it. His claws dug into the leather sofa they'd been sitting on, leaving small scratch marks on the seat.

"WELL, UM, DAVE? I'D BE THERE FOR THE NEXT WEEK OR SO," he said sheepishly

"...why exactly? you know what, on second thought, tell me when we get there." Dave then proceeded to scoop Karkat into his arms, causing him to squeak at the sudden movement. Electricity seemed to be crackling up his spine in retaliation. He noticed Dave scowling at him, seemingly concerned, as his eyes flew wide from the pain in his back, but he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.

"YOU BLITHERING ASSMONKEY! WHAT, YOU COULDN'T FUCKING TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO DO THAT? IS YOUR PATHETICALLY PINK HUMAN BRAIN TOO DENSE TO THINK OF THE REPERCUSSIONS FOR MOVING SOMEONE IN A SUDDEN FASHION WHEN THEY HAVE ADMITTED TO YOU THAT THEY CAN'T EVEN FUCKING MOVE? DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO FUCKING MOVE BECAUSE DOING SO WOULD BE UNPLEASANT? WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH GRUBSNIFFING IMBECILES WHO CAN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT THEY'RE-AHHCKKKCHH...MMMM," Karkat squeezed his eyes shut as he attempted to keep himself from screaming at the sudden wave of pain in his think pan.

"well shit," Karkat heard Dave whisper, "okay, okay, i'm sorry." Karkat growled. _'You fucking better be, nooksniffer,'_ Karkat thought. _  
_

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**Again, **_not_** part of the **_Circle series_**. Think of it as separated from that. **

**In other news, the newest story, Rose and Terezi, is in preparation for release (prepare yourself for more Can Town funtime with the Mayor). No one voted for anything, so the circle of characters is set in stone now. Can't vote for that anymore, just pairings. **

**So far, red Solkat, red Daverezi, and either half red-half black Davekat (wherein Dave cheats on Terezi and Karkat turns black on him for it) or moirail Davekat (Karkat could be cheating on Gamzee because he said in canon that they'd broken up 'a while ago.' They could still be together at this point.) Also, canon ships of the time on the meteor, though they can cheat. Ex. Rose cheats on Kanaya with Terezi, Gamzee cheats on Terezi with Kanaya, etc. **

**I'm really quite good with the quadrants thing. The reason that red Davekat wasn't in there was because two conflicting ships beat it (Solkat and Daverezi), but I have nothing against making things complicated. I didn't think Karkat would cheat on anyone ever, but Dave could be tempted.**


End file.
